Sacred Texts  Index  Previous  Next 



                                        
                               *        
                ***************************  
                                             
                THAT REAL OLD TIME RELIGION  
                                             
                ***************************  
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
        THE ENTIRELY ARBITRARY CATEGORIES OF THE VERSES
                                        
     ASATRU AND ODINISM:..................................Pg.2317
     BRUJA:...............................................Pg.2317
     BUDDHISM:............................................Pg.2318
     CARGO CULT:..........................................Pg.2318
     CHRISTIAN:...........................................Pg.2318
     CLASSICAL PAGANISM:..................................Pg.2319
     CONFUCIANISM.........................................Pg.2321
     CTHULHU: (a fictional deity, but well-known).........Pg.2321
     (THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR................................Pg.2322
     DISCORDIANISM:.......................................Pg.2321
     DRUIDS:..............................................Pg.2322
     EGYPTIAN:............................................Pg.2322
     FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AMD HEROES:...................Pg.2323
     HINDU:...............................................Pg.2323
     ISLAMIC:.............................................Pg.2323
     JEWISH:..............................................Pg.2324
     KAHBAHLA:............................................Pg.2324
     KRISHNA:.............................................Pg.2324
     MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN:................................Pg.2324
     MITHRAISM:...........................................Pg.2325
     MOONIES:.............................................Pg.2325
     NEW AGE:.............................................Pg.2325
     NEW WORLD PAGAN:.....................................Pg.2325
     SCIENTOLOGY:.........................................Pg.2326
     SHINTO:..............................................Pg.2326
     THELEMA:.............................................Pg.2326
     VOODOO:..............................................Pg.2326
     WICCA AND GENERAL NEO-PAGAN:.........................Pg.2327
     ZARATHUSTRIAN:.......................................Pg.2328
     UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS..............Pg.2328
     NEW VERSES NOT YET CLASSIFIED:.......................Pg.2328


                                                                            2319

                               *                 
                                        
                   THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
                   tune: "Old Time Religion"
                                        
       (Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
                 It's good enough for me!
                                        
                         ASATRU AND ODINISM:                              
                                         
I hear Valkyries a-comin                One-eyed Odin we will follow           
In the air their song is comin          And in fighting we will wallow         
They forgot the words! They're hummin!  Till we wind up in Valhallow           
But they're good enough for me!         Which is good enough for me!           
                                                                               
We will drive up to Valhalla         It was good enough for Odin            
Riding Beetles, not Impalas          Though the tremblin' got forbodin'     
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"     Then the giants finally strode in,     
And that's good enough for me!       But it's good enough for me!
                                                                           
It was good enough for Loki          Shall we sing a verse for Thor,        
It was good enough for Loki          Though he leaves the maidens sore?     
He thinks Thor's a little hokey      They always come back for more,        
And that's good enough for me!       So he's good enough for me!            
                                        
Shall we sing in praise of Loki,     It was good for Thor and Odin          
Though he left poor Midgard smokey?  It was good for Thor and Odin          
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,      Grab an axe and get your woad on!      
But he's good enough for me!         and it's good enough for me!           
                                                                              
All the Gods tore into Loki        We will worship now with vigor            
Saying Deicide is hokey!           The goddess known as Frigga               
And they threw him in the pokey!   Tho there are some who don't dig her      
And that's good enough for me!     She is good enough for me!                
                                                                    
Good old Thor's the god of thunder   If you wanna worship Odin 
Really helps us get our plunder      You don't have to have a coat on 
Tho his head's still truly dunder    Grab a sword and slap some woad on  
He is good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me! 
                                        
In the halls of Frey and Freyja          We will sing a verse for Loki     
All the priestesses will lay ya          He's the old Norse god of Chaos
If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!   Which is why this verse don't          
And that's good enough for me!             rhyme or scan or nothin'         
                                         But it's good enough for me...    
                                        
                                BRUJA:  
                                        
                     Let us sing for Brujaria                       
                     Though the blood's a lot less cleaner;
                     It's not Christian Santaria             
                     So it's good enough for me!         


                                                                            2320


                               BUDDHISM:                                        
                                        
We will all go to Nirvana               Oh we all will follow Buddah           
So be sure to mind your manners         Oh we all will follow Buddah           
Make a left turn at Savannah            And we'll eat no food but Gouda        
And we'll see the Promised Land!        Which is Gouda-nuff for me!
                                        

It was good enough for Buddha,          We will go and sing "Hosanna"          
As a god he's kinda cute-a,             To our good ol' pal, Gautama,          
And he comes in brass or pewta'         He will never flim or flam ya',        
So he's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!         
                                                                               
No one wrote a verse for Buddah      We will all go to Nirvana         
Tho I think they really coulda       We will all go to Nirvana         
And I really think they shoulda      Make a left turn at Urbana         
'Cause he's good enough for me!      And you'll see the Promised Land!      
                                        
                       CARGO CULT & PACIFIC ISLANDS:             
                                        
To the tune of Handel's "Largo"       If you get too tired           
We will hymn the gods of Cargo        And you need to get up higher    
'Til they slap on an embargo          Just have Pele light your fire!    
And that's good enough for me!        From her island in the sea!     
                                           
                You can keep your saints with halos,
                Your hosannas or dayenus:
                Let's throw virgins in volcanos!
                And that's good enough for me!
                                        
                               CHRISTIAN:                      
                                                 
We will worship with the Fundies      There are those who worship Satan      
With their itchy hair-shirt undies    And are just anticipatin'              
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"    Armageddon's conflagratin'             
Then it's good enough for me!         That ain't good enough for me!         
                                                                               
It was good for old Jehovah         Let's all listen up to Jesus           
He had a son who was a nova!        He says rich folks like old Croesus    
Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!   Will be damned until Hell freezes      
Another resurrection Day!           And that don't sound good to me!
                                                                               
Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed        Oh we'll all be Fundamental            
In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed      And be Holy Testamental                
And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed        And never Trancendental                
But that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!         
                                                                               
That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers    We will finally pray to Jesus
Fighting demons in his callers         From our sins we hope he frees us     
Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!   Eternal life he guarantees us         
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!         
                                        
Tho J.C.'s into fish, too,            Anytime that I start hearin'     
He's an avatar of Vishnu              "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too,           Maybe so, but not like Brian *
And that's good enough for me!        Which is good enough for me!  


                                                                            2321

                                        
Brother Jerry is a cretin             Brother Oral's in his tower,
But with all the cash he's gettin'    Trusting in the Lord's power
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin           Getting richer by the hour,
It's the "Land of the Free!"          Now he's got the ransom fee!
                                        
Brother Robert's church is Crystal     Brother Earnest is a healer
But all the Bible that he's missed'll  And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol"        More a jumper and a squealer
But he's good enough for me!           So he's good enough for me!
                                        
Brother Jim and Sister Tammy       Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Had a show that was a whammy       Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
But now they are in Miami          All his trips are kinda silly,
Tryin' t'get back on TV!           But he's good enough for me!
                                        
Whether Low Church or it's High Church  And the Romans said of Jesus
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church        "Lets kill him, he don't please us"
Come on down and visit my Church        "But the Atheists will tease us"
'Cause it's good enough for me!         And thats good enough for me
                                        
You could join Jehovah's Witness             And let's not forget Pelagius
Running door to door for fitness             Though some call him outrageous
Well if you've been blessed with quickness,  He is pious and courageous
Then thats good enough for me                And he's good enough for me!
                                        
                         CLASSICAL PAGANISM:
                                                  
We will go to worship Zeus           You can dance and wave the thyrsos     
Though his morals are quite loose    And sing lots of rowdy verses          
He gave Leda quite a goose           Till the neighbors holler curses,      
And he's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!
                                        
We will pray to Father Zeus           We will sing for great Diana           
In his temple we'll hang loose        Who will teach of love and honor       
Eating roast beef au jus,             But you really gotta wanna!            
And that's good enough for me!        'Cause she's tough enough for me!      
                                                                               
Shall we sing a verse for Venus,   We went off to worship Venus
Of the Gods she is the meanest,    By the Gods! You should have seen us!   
Cause she bit me on my...elbow!    Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And it's good enough for me!       But that's good enough for me! 
                                        
We will venerate old Bacchus               It was good enough for Sappho
Drinking beer and eating tacos             With her lady on her lap-o 
Til you've tried it please don't knock us  She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause it's good enough for me!            With her pagan poetry!
                                        
Let us raise a toast to Bacchus,       When we worship Bacchus            
We will raise a royal ruckus,          The ethanol will sock us           
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us     We'll all get good and raucous     
That's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!     
                                        
Diana is a little spikey           We'll sing praises to Apollo;   
And she is a little dyke-ey        Where the Sun God leads we'll follow   
You don't have to be a Psych-e     ('Though his head's a little hollow)
To know that's right for me!       He's good enough for me! 


                                                                            2322

We will worship with Poseidon         Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'   
We will meet him when the tide's in   Tho he's lost his vital juices    
All the maidens he will ride in       The old boy still has his uses    
Then he'll give 'em all to me!        And he's good enough for me!    
                                        
All the hunters start convergin'      We will all bow to Hephaestus 
When Diana is emergin'                As a blacksmith he will test us  
It's too bad she's still a virgin     'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
But there's still hope left for me!   So he's good enough for me!  

And what about this Bacchus,          There is room enough in Hades          
Who lives just to raise a ruckus?     For lots of criminals and shadies      
Loosens women so they'll f**k us,     And disreputable ladies,               
Well, that's good enough for me!      And they're good enough for me!
                                                                               
We will all see Aphrodite             And to help things get real racous
Though she's pretty wild and flighty  The priests of Pan and Bacchus
She will meet us in her nightie       Will hold a f***ing contest!
And she's good enough for me!         And that's all right with me!
                                                                               
Oh we will go and worship Pan,          
'cause he just don't give a damn!       
Grab a woman or a man,                  
And that's good enough for me!          
                                                 
Was a time, so I've heard tell, a       We all worshipped Dionysus             
Fine and promising young fella          'Till we ran into a crisis:            
Gave his all to serve Cybele            The bar had raised its prices;         
But that's damn well not for me!        That's not good enough for me!         
                                                                               
We'll sing praises to Apollo            There's that lusty old Priapus         
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow    He's just itching to unwrap us.        
From Ionia to Gaul-o                    (He'd do more to us than tap us        
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!)        
                                        
We will have a mighty Party          Pan's pipes got plugged last summer     
In the honor of Astarte              And it really was a bummer     
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy    Finally had to call a plumber!     
'Cause she's good enough for me!     But he's good enough for me!       
                                        
In his dancing Pan will lead them       Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
When his pipes call we will heed them   She was into golden showers;   
In truth tho, he don't need them        And that showed her Zeus' power
He's more than enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!
                                        
It was good enough for Venus           We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us  We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us         Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me!          But it's good enough for me!
                                        
There's one thing that I do know      Let us dance with Dionysus                
Zeus' favorite is Juno                And get drunk on wine and spices          
She's the best at doing...you know!   The Christians call them "vices"   
And that's good enough for me!        But they're good enough for me!           
                                           
It was good enough for Cupid       We will venerate old Hermes               
It was good enough for Cupid       With his staff entwined with wormies      
His wings look kind of stupid      Warding off the nasty germies             
But that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!            
                                                                      


                                                                            2323

Let's all drink to Dionysus        We will all bow down to Venus
Wine and women beyond prices!      As we dance upon Mt. Zenos         
He made a Maenad out of my Sis!    We will worship with our....voice  
And that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!     
                                        
There are those who, when they've got e-   
Normous problems that are knotty           
They just take them to Hecate           We all worship Aphrodite,  
And that's good enough for me!          And Her sister bold Astarte,     
                                        They both throw a lovely party,  
In the church of Aphrodite              And that's just fine with me!  
She's a mighty righteous sightie,       
The Priestess wears a see through nightie
And she's good enough for me            
                                        
                           CONFUCIANISM 
                                        
Let us read works of Confucius         We used to study old Confucius
As we walk thru Massachusetts          As we sat there on our tushes
In white robes that freeze our tushes  We're learning but don't push us
But it's good enough for me!           And thats good enough for me
                                        
                                CTHULHU:                       
                                                 
We will worship mighty Cthulhu        We will worship Great Cthulhu,         
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo      We will worship Great Cthulhu,         
(1930's fiction voodoo....)           And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu            
But that's good enough for me!        'Cause that's good enough for me!      
                                        
Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu           We will sacrifice to Yuggoth           
Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you   We will sacrifice to Yuggoth           
Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you       Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth          
And that's good enough for me!        And the Goat With a Thousand Young
                                                                                
Of the Old Ones, none is vaster      Well it's good enough for   *
Even Cthulhu's not his master        He's a mighty kinky master  
I refer to the unspeakable   *       When you pray he goes much faster 
and that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me! 
                                        
And for those who follow Cthulhu     Let's go worship Great Cthulhu,
We have really got a lulu:           And run naked like a Zulu,
Drop a bomb on Honolulu!             You and me and Mr. Sulu,
'Cause that's good enough for you!   And that's good enough for me!  
                                        
                * - well, do YOU want to say it?
                                        
                           DISCORDIANISM:                          
                                        
Let us sing to old Discordia            Of Great Murphy much is spoken         
Cause it's sure she's never bored ya    For his Law shall not be broken        
And if she's good enough for ya         It's not pretty when he's woken        
Then she's good enough for me!          Things go wrong for you and me!        
                                        
If your rising sign is Aries         If your god of choice is Squat         
You'll be taken by the Fairies       Well then trendy, man, you're not!
Meet the Buddah in Benares           But you'll get a parking spot!         
where he'll hit you with a pie!      And that's good enough for me!         


                                                                            2324

We will sing a verse for Eris           Let us do our thing for Eris           
(Golden apples for the fairest!)        Goddess of the discord there is        
Though she sometimes likes to scare us  Apple's golden, it's not ferrous       
But she's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!
                                        
             Let us praise the Holy Fool
             For he's breaking all the rules
             Holds you up to ridicule,  
             And that's good enough for me!
                                        
                        (THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR
                                        
Oh, the dollar is our Saviour     There are those who scream and holler 
If we spend Her or we save Her    And get hot under the collar
She controls all our behaviour    For their god, Almighty Dollar,
There's not enough for me!        Who is good enough for me!
                                        
             Call Him God, or call him Allah
             The priest will take your dollah
             Easy living from -your- follah-
             -wers, but sorry, -not- from me!
                                        
                                DRUIDS:                     
                                                 
We will worship like the Druids,     In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome
Drinking strange fermented fluids,   But he's not at home too often      
Running naked through the woo-ids,   Spends all his time in Annwyfn  
Coz that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!      
                                        
             I'll go get my golden sickle
             And I'll wear it where it tickles
             It ain't used for cuttin' pickles!
             And it's good enough for me!
                                        
                            EGYPTIAN:                    
                                                  
Let us sing the praise of Horus      When we all bowed down to Nuit         
As our fathers did before us         There was really nothin' to it         
We're the New Egyptian Chorus        (Alex Sanders made me do it...)        
And we sing in harmony!              But that's good enough for me!         
                                                                           
We will venerate Bubastis            We will pray with those Egyptians      
We will venerate Bubastis            Build pyramids to put our crypts in    
If you want in, then just ast us!    Cover subways with inscriptions,       
'cause that's good enough for me!    which is good enough for me.....!      
                                                                               
Let us all now worship Ra              We will all do praise to Horus  
And take care of our Ka                In an old Egyptian chorus         
We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"   If there's something in it for us
Which is good enough for me!           Then it's good enough for me!     
                                                                         
Here's an invitation for us            We will venerate Bubastis        
All to go and worship Horus            Cause my cat walked up and ast us   
Doff your clothes and join the chorus  (Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!)    
And that's good enough for me!         But it's good enough for me!    


                                                                            2325

                FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AMD HEROES:                       
                                                 
Here's to those who copy Conan     We will sing of Foul the Render,       
Here's to those who copy Conan     Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender   
They're just Followers of Onan     In his cave in Kiril Threndor--        
And that's good enough for me!     They're both too much for me!
                                        
There are followers of Conan.        Of Lord Shardik you must beware;       
And you'll never hear 'em groanin'   To please him you must swear;          
Followed Crom up to his throne(in)   'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,       
And it's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!
                                        
Azahoth is in his Chaos              We will sing of Iluvatur,              
Azahoth is in his Chaos              Who sent the Valar 'cross the water    
Now if only he don't sway us         To lead Morgoth to the slaughter       
That is good enough for me!          And that's just fine with me!         
                                        
We will worship Holy Ford          We will sing the Jug of Issek,         
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord           And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,        
But the Alphas might get bored     Though to thieving Mouser will stick,  
A Brave New World for you and me!  And that's good enough for me!         
                                        
Let us note the might of Ils          We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills        And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills     And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me!             They're good enough for me!
                                                                           
The late return of the Prophet Zarquon  It was good enough for Cthulhu    
Caused his followers to hearken         Who'd eat me and who'd eat you, too; 
As the Universe went dark on            If it's good enough for Cthulhu      
All of you and me!                      Then it's good enough for me     
                                        
                               HINDU:                           
                                                 
There are some that call it folly       We will go to worship Kali             
When we worship Mother Kali.            She will help us in our folly          
She may not be very jolly               She'd be quite an armful, golly!       
But she's good enough for me!           And she's good enough for me!
                                                                               
As the goddess Kali dances            I will wait till four-armed Kali      
With her worshippers in trances       Drags me thru that lonesome valley    
You can learn some Hindu stances      She's disgusting act-u-all-y    
And that's good enough for me!        But She's good enough for me!    
                                        
                               ISLAMIC:                                
                                                
We will all bow down to Allah          Warriors for Allah      
For he gave his loyal follow           Are sure to have a gala                 
Ers the mighty petro-dollah            Time in old Valhalla                
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!        
                                                 


                                                                            2326

                                JEWISH:                       
                                                 
If you think that you'll be sav-ed      Some guys have a circumcision          
If you think that you'll be sav-ed      On account of their religion,          
If you follow Mogen David               An embarrassing incision               
Then that's good enough for me!         Cut just ENOUGH from me!               
                                        
Let us worship old Jehovah              Let us celebrate Jehovah               
All you other gods move ovah            Who created us "ab ova"                
Cause the one God's takin' over         He'll be on tonight on "Nova"
And it's good enough for me!            'cause he's good enough for me!

                              KAHBAHLA:                                
                                         
We will read from the Kabahlah          We will read from the Cabala.      
We will read from the Kabahlah          Quote the Tree of Life mandala         
It won't get us to Valhalla             It won't get you in Valhalla,         
But it's good enough for me!            Yet it's good enough for me!      
                                        
                               KRISHNA:                                         
                                                 
We will all sing Hare Krishna        Hare Krishna gets a laugh on           
We will all sing Hare Krishna        When he sees me dressed in saffron     
It's not mentioned in the Mishna     With my hair that's only half on       
But it's good enough for me!         But that's good enough for me!         
                                                                               
             I was singing Hari Rama                          
             With my friend the Dalai Lama           
             'Til they dumped us in the slammer      
             But that's good enough for me!           
                                                                               
                        MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN:
                                                  
I'll sing some songs to Lilith,         We will have a mighty orgy             
Not so young, and not so girlish,       in the honour of Astarte               
and She's always PMS-ish,               it'll be a mighty party                
but She's good enough for me!           and it's good enough for me!           
                                        
Lilith wears a lacy nightie             We will sing to Lady Isis              
And She is a little flighty             She'll stand by us in a crisis         
She will get you all excite-y           And She hasn't raised Her prices       
She's wet-dream enough for me!          And She's good enough for me!          
                                                                               
We will all bow down to Dagon           We will all bow down to Enlil          
We will all bow down to Dagon           We will all bow down to Enlil          
He still votes for Ronald Reagan        Pass your Cup and get a refill!        
And that's good enough for me!          With bold Gilgamesh the Brave!         
                                        
Let us worship sweet Eninni         Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus      
Let us worship sweet Eninni         From herself the Earth did birth us 
In a skimpy string bikini           And I wonder: are we worth us?  
And that's good enough for me!      But she's good enough for me!   
                                                                   
We will go to worship Lillith          Well Dimuzi's on vacation
Grab your cup, step up and fill it     He'll be back when spring awakens
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! There will be such recreation
And that's good enough for me!         There will be enough for me!


                                                                            2327

Oh the Phillistines abound              
Oh the Phillistines abound              
They had the biggest Baals around       
And that's good enough for me!          
                                                                               
                               MITHRAISM:                                       
                                                 
We will sing a song of Mithras        We will all be saved by Mithras        
Let us sing a song of Mithras         We will all be saved by Mithras        
But there is no rhyme for Mithras!    Slay the Bull and play the zithras     
Still he's good enough for me!        On that Resurrection Day!              

                                MOONIES                
                                                 
             We will worship Sun Myung Moonie
             Though we know he is a goonie
             All our money he'll have soonly 
             And that's good enough for me!
                                                 
                              NEW AGE:                                    
                                            
Oh, our Spirits will awaken             Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,       
Oh, our Spirits will awaken             He's too square to be a pagan,         
Watch the Universe a-quakin'            Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!         
Which is Gurdijeff to me!               He's good enough for me!
                                                                               
Timmy Leary we will sing to            I'll arise at early mornin'
And the things that he was into        When the Sun gives me the warnin'
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)      That the Solar Age is dawnin'
And that's good enough for me!         And that's good enough for me!
                                                               
In the sky I hear a hummin'              Just like Carlos Castenada  
It's the UFO's a-comin'                  Just like Carlos Castenada
That's not banjos that they're strummin  It'll get you sooner or later
But it's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!
                                                 
                          NEW WORLD PAGAN:                                 
                                        
Thanks to great Quetzacoatl         Some folks pray to the Great Spirit    
And his sacred axolotl              Most folks just cannot get near it     
And his gift of chocolatl           So they hate it and they fear it       
And please pass some down to me!    But it's good enough for me!           
                                                                           
Praise to Popacatapetl              Some folks worship the Kachinas        
Just a tiny cigarette'll            Some folks worship the Kachinas        
Put him in terrific fettle          They look like "deus ex machinas"     
So he's good enough for me!         But they're good enough for me!        
                                        
Now watch out for the Maya's,     Montezuma liked to start out 
They might really try to fry ya,  Rites by carrying a part out 
Sacrifice people, not papaya's,   That would really tear your heart out,
Just as long as its not me!       But it's good enough for me!  
                                        
Quetzacoatl's flyin'                  And when old Quetzacoatl     
With the Toltec and the Mayan         Found a virgin he could throttle     
And the mushrooms he's been buyin'    And put her heart into a bottle     
Are good enough for me!               It was good enough for me.     
                                        


                                                                            2328

We will worship Xochipilli          We will worship Xipe-Totec
Though it might be a bit silly      Tho it is a little lo-tek *
Running naked makes me chilly       It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic)
But it's good enough for me!        But it's good enough for me!
                                        
                                            * "low - tech(nology)
                                        
Oh, there's none like Huizlipochtli   The Kachinas of the Hopi
For destroyin' people tot'ly          Dance about and some act dopey
Best to worship -him- remotely!       They don't leave you feelin' mopey
But he's good enough for me!          So they're good enough for me!
                                        
I have gotten in the way-o              
Walkin' with the Monster Slayer         
He is worthy of a prayer                
And he's good enough for me!            
                                        
                              SCIENTOLOGY                   
                                                 
L. Ron Hubbard liked precision           In matters Dianetic        
And he founded a religion                You need not get frenetic        
That has caught a lot of pigeons         Make your Engrams copacetic        
And it's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!        
                                        
                                SHINTO:                                 
                                                
There are some who practice Shinto     I don't really go for Shinto     
There are some who practice Shinto     It's just something I'm not into 
There's no telling what WE'RE into!    Tho I guess I could begin to  
but that's good enough for me!         'Cause it's good enough for me! 
                                        
             In Japan they thought it neato
             When they worshipped Hirohito
             But that didn't sit with SEATO
             So it never more will be!  
                                        
                              THELEMA:    
                                           
Uncle Crowley was a dreamer      When the clouds they are a'rumbling    
At the Abbey of Thelemer         And the thunder is a'grumbling         
But his magic is a screamer,     Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling 
So it's good enough for me!      And it's good enough for me!        
                                           
There are those who follow Crowley     Let us call an Elemental       
Tho the stuff that he held holy        For a temporary rental            
Turn your your brain to guacamole      Just as long as it is gentle     
But he's good enough for me!           It is good enough for me!      
                                                                               
It was good enough for Crowley          
With his sacraments unholy              
Who smoked pot and ate some moly        
And it's good enough for me!            
                                        
                             VOODOO:                                      
                                           
There are people into voodoo           There are people into Voodoo  
Africa has raised a hoodoo             There are people into Voodoo  
Just one little doll will do you       I know I do, I hope you do!   
And it's good enough for me!           And it's good enough for me! 
                                                                               


                                                                            2329

             If you're really into dancing              
             And you wanna try some trancing            
             Then the Voodoo gods are prancing          
             And that's good enough for me!             
                                           
                      WICCA AND GENERAL NEO-PAGAN:             
                                           
Well, she raised an awful flurry      When old Gerald got it goin'      
When she made the scholars worry      When old Gerald got it goin'     
Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray!   All that hidin' turned to showin'
She is good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!   
                                           
It was good enough for Granny           It's not good enough for Reagan   
She could throw a double-whammy         It's not good enough for Reagan         
That would knock you on your fanny      He's too square to be a Pagan!          
And she's good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!          
                                                                    
With the aid of my athame             Meeting at the Witching Hour    
I can throw a "double-whammy"         By the Bud, and Branch and Flower 
(And can slice and dice salami!)      Folks are raising up the Power 
So it's good enough for me!           And that's where I want to be! 
                                        
There will be a lot of lovin'       We will worship with the witches            
When we're meetin in our Coven      'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches          
Quit yer pushin and yer shovin'     And they scratch us where it itches         
So there's room enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!              
                                           
Well the Christians all are humming     We will gather at our saunas            
Cause they say their God is coming,     When the spirit comes upon us           
Our God came three times this evening   To perform the Rites of Faunus          
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!          
                                           
             Some folks worship all of Nature            
             Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher       
             They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher 
             And they're good enough for me!               
                                        
                          ZARATHUSTRIAN:                                    
                                                                               
We will pray to Zarathustra        It could be that you're a Parsi            
And we'll pray just like we usta   It could be that you're a Parsi            
I'm a Zarathustra boosta!          Don't need a ticket; you get in free       
And that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!             
                                           
I pray to Ahura-Mazda                  I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda, 
He's one god who sure won't pause ta   I'll praise the man who tries ta
Pound some heads when given cause ta   Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta
Which is good enough for me!           And that's good enough for me!    
                                        
              UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS:
                                        
We will go down to the temple     There are those who worship no gods  
Sit on mats woven of hemp-le      For they think that there are low odds  
Try to set a good "exemple"       That the god-seers aren't drunk sods  
And that's good enough for me!    But they're good enough for me!
                                            
Let us watch Ka-ka-pa-ull        Where's the gong gone? I can't find it 
Frolic in her swimming pool      I think Northwoods is behind it!  
Subjecting chaos to her rule     For they've always been cymbal-minded       
And that's all right with me!    And they're good enough for me! 


                                                                            2330

                                                                              
They revered ancient ENIAC            Some folks pray to the Orishas           
And sacrificed to UNIVAC              Tho their humor can be vishas         
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack    When they grant your stupid wishas        
And that's good enough for me!        But they're good enough for me!        

When you worship Rusto             There are those who worship science   
Treat your friends with lust-o     And some would send 'em to the lions   
Pursue your faith with gusto!      Without 'em we'd have no appliance   
And that's good enough for me!     So they're good enough for me   
                                        
                 We will all bow down to Gozer                
                 Priestess did it with that Joser             
                 Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir   
                 And that's good enough for me!               
                                        
We will worship Christian Jesus       Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine     
And do just like John Paul pleases    The Etruscan god of wine        
That we will... when Hades freezes!   This verse doesn't really rhyme     
And that's good enough for me!        But it's good enough for me!       
                                        
I have got a strange religion         John, Paul, George and Ringo
I will worship Walter Pidgeon         We will worship playing Bingo
Is he sacred? Just a smidgen!         We will listen to them sing-o
But it's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

                    THE OBLIGATORY LAST VERSE                                   
                                                                                
                  It's the opera written for us!                                
                  We will all join in the chorus!                               
                  It's the opera about Boris,                                   
                  Which is Godunov for me!                                      


                                        
    ----------------------------------------------------------------



  ------------------------------------------------------------------
                                        
  I suppose that this last song has turned you into a newt by now.
  You may not realize that it happened, 'cause that's just how that
  sort of thing seems to work. You need to put a carrot on your nose
  and find a duck, and weigh it. Then you'll be OK again.
                      *
   
                                                                            2331


Next: High Holiday Song, The